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Welcome, Momma. I'm so glad you're here.
Has the journey into motherhood been a little (or a lot) different from what you expected? Whether you’re a first-time mom or you've been down this road before, navigating motherhood can feel overwhelming, disorienting, and downright exhausting. You’re not alone, and it’s okay to feel like you don’t have your shit all together right now.
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Maybe you’ve heard people talk about the “baby blues,” but what you’re experiencing feels deeper than that. Or maybe you’re struggling to adjust to your new role and feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself in the process. At times, you even find yourself feeling resentful toward your partner or toward your baby. These feelings are incredibly common, even though it might seem like everyone else has it all figured out. So, let’s talk about what you might be feeling, why those feelings are valid, and how therapy can help you find your way through the ups and downs of postpartum adjustment.
Moms feel enormous pressure to be perfect.
One of the hardest parts about motherhood is the expectation that you’re supposed to know exactly what to do, right from the start. After all, you've read all the books, watched all the videos, and took all the classes. If only it were that easy.
One of the most common and unsettling feelings new mothers experience is the fear of failure, especially when things don’t come as naturally as you thought they would. You might have imagined that motherhood would just click—that you’d instantly and naturally know what to do and how to do it. But then you find yourself second-guessing every decision and comparing yourself to other moms who make it look so damn easy. Before long, that inner voice begins to whisper, "There must be something wrong with you. You should know how to do this.” The self-doubt and pressure to be the perfect mom can feel overwhelming.
"The very fact that you worry about being a good mom means you already are one."
- Jodi Picoult, Writer
Nobody ever talks about the sense of loss that comes with motherhood. Do you find yourself quietly grieving your old life—the freedom to come and go as you please, to have time for yourself, the ability to focus on your career or hobbies? Now, your whole world revolves around this tiny human, and that sudden shift can leave you feeling like you’ve lost a part of who you are. And at the same time, you feel guilty for even thinking this way.
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Your body has changed, too, and lately your emotions are all over the place. There are some days you look in the mirror and don't even recognize yourself anymore. Everything feels so different now -- and you’re not sure how to reconcile this new version of yourself with the person you were before.
​Let's talk about mom guilt. It's real.
Mom guilt can hit hard in a lot of ways, but especially when it comes to making decisions about whether to return to work outside the home. On one hand, you might feel guilty for going back to work, worrying that you're missing out on important moments or not spending enough time with your baby. On the other hand, if you choose to stay at home, you might feel guilty that you're not contributing to the household income or not doing enough to "pull your weight" compared to your partner. Sometimes it feels like a damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't kind of situation.
Mom guilt can show up in other ways, too -- how you choose to feed your baby, the amount of screen time you allow your kids as they get older, or even just taking some much-needed time for yourself. Left unchecked, mom guilt can lead to feelings of inadequacy, self-doubt, and shame.
Motherhood changes your relationships.
Sometimes motherhood can feel incredibly isolating. You might find yourself spending most of your time at home, while it seems like the rest of the world is carrying on without you. Even if you have a supportive partner or family, you might still feel alone in your experience -- like nobody else understands how you're feeling. Maybe you don’t know many other moms, or it feels nearly impossible to find the time to connect with friends.
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Your relationship with your partner can also change drastically after having a baby. It's not uncommon to feel disconnected or frustrated because the dynamic between you two has shifted. The lack of sleep, diminished sex drive, increased responsibilities, and the general stress of parenting can take a toll on your relationship. ​
When is it more than just the baby blues?
You’ve probably heard the term “baby blues,” which refers to the emotional ups and downs that many women experience in the first few weeks after giving birth. But for some women, these feelings don’t go away—they intensify.
Postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety can show up in ways that might catch you off guard, making an already overwhelming time feel even more difficult. With postpartum depression, you might find yourself feeling disconnected from your baby, almost like you're watching everything from the outside. That bond you expected to feel instantly may not have developed yet, and this can leave you feeling guilty, ashamed, or even questioning whether you're a good mom. You might find yourself crying more often than usual—sometimes with a clear reason and other times for no reason at all. Simple tasks can feel impossible, and the joy everyone tells you you're supposed to feel seems out of reach.
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Postpartum anxiety often centers around an overwhelming sense of worry. Maybe you're constantly thinking about your baby’s safety, obsessing over every little thing, like whether they're sleeping too much or too little, or panicking over the possibility of them getting hurt. These anxious thoughts might make it hard for you to relax, rest, or even trust others to help with your baby. Sometimes the anxiety doesn’t have a specific focus—it can show up as a general feeling of dread or panic, like something bad is always just around the corner. You may also experience physical sensations like racing thoughts, a pounding heart, or trouble breathing. This constant state of worry can leave you feeling emotionally and physically exhausted.
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Both postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety can make it difficult to enjoy the early months with your baby, and you might feel like you’re failing because of the intense emotions you’re experiencing. Seeking support through therapy is a powerful first step in finding relief and regaining a sense of control.
